One Year Ago…

One year ago Bella had open heart surgery to repair her complete AV Canal.  Truthfully, I can barely breathe thinking back on that day.  We were so excited – excited that she was FINALLY, finally getting the surgery they said would save her life.  Well, it was a drop in the bucket.  We did go home -  everyone so happy and promising us the moon.  So not true.  We were home ten days – 10 days before we were back in TCH and we didn’t leave again till July.  That was when she was really sick.  That was when she had three more operations.  That was when she was on the brink of death.  So I look back on today and wow – what a huge thing, Open Heart Surgery.  We were so worried, so stressed, but it was just preparation for what was to come when she really was so unstable.  Oh. My heart hurts.

I remember one year ago – the heart wrenching worry.  I remember Sister Hudson coming up and sitting with us and waiting and waiting and waiting.  Thank you Debbie.  It meant the world to me to have you there.  I remember sitting and listening to Dr. Salazaar telling us about the operation.  I remember seeing her for the first time.  I remember where we sat on the bridge and wrote out an email telling our families that it was finished and she was alive. But I didn’t know until today that Becca had to take the TAKS test that day.  I don’t know who was babysitting my kids that day.  (I think it was Marissa)  How did they spend their day?  Did anyone kiss them good night?  My kids have been through a lot.  They have survived.  They are stronger for it.  But I want to acknowledge their sacrifice.  Thank you to Rachel White and Marissa for babysitting.  How could we have made it without you?

One year ago they repaired my baby’s heart.  I am so grateful it is still beating.  I am so grateful that the other 7 hearts that live in this house have learned so much about compassion and sacrifice this past year.  I love my family and although I wish they hadn’t gone through this last year, we did.  And we survived.